In these refined times of ours, sometimes guys just need to
be dumb. Just put the brain on autopilot and get in touch
with our inner caveman. Hence the popularity of pro wrestling, hockeyfights.com,
MMA, heavy metal and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.
Tim Lambesis combines the latter two into the ultra-dumb Austrian
Death machine, a counterpoint to his main band, the ultra-serious
As I Lay Dying. Calling ADM ultra-dumb may sound like an insult,
but it’s actually the highest compliment. Even Lambesis
himself has called the project “an outlet of pure testosterone
and stupidity.”
Like “Beavis and Butt-head,” ADM is actually so
stupid, it’s clever. A parody of brutal death metal
bands done under the guise of a brutal death metal band fronted
by the Governator and using his goofiest one-liners as the
song titles. Or something like that. The first ADM album, Total Brutal, was so silly it masked the fact that
the album also flat-out rocked. A song like “Get to
the Choppa” could make you bang your head and laugh
your ass off at the same time.
Lambesis and his partner-in-crime Ahhnold (with Josh Robert
Thompson replacing Chad Ackerman in the role) are back with
a double album, fittingly called Double Brutal. The
first disc is the Ahhnold disc and Lambesis hits all the classic
Arnie one-liners he missed the last time, like “I Need
Your Clothes, Your Boots and Your Motorcycle,” “Let
Off Some Steam Bennett,” “See You at the Party
Richter” and my personal favorite, “Come on Cohaagen,
Give Deez People Ehyar” (much funnier if you’ve
heard Arnie say it in Total Recall). The songs on
the Ahhnold disc rock, especially the catchy “I Need
Your Clothes …” and “Come on Cohaagen …”
The most random reference is “It’s Simple, If
It Jiggles It’s Fat,” which practically writes
itself. Lambesis doesn’t just let all the songs sound
the same (“Of course they sound the same, they all sound
bruuutal!!!”) experimenting with grind metal vocals
on “Who Told You You Could Eat My Cookies?”
Throughout the first disc is Ahhnold himself, doing his trademark
“NYYYAHHHHH!!” and mocking Lambesis for sounding
like “a dying moose” and being a “girly
man” with “long hair and colorful tattoos.”
There are also a number of shredding guitar solos from the
likes of Buz McGrath of Unearth, Chris Storey of All Shall
Perish and Kris Norris of Darkest Hour.
The second disc consists of cover songs inspired by Ahhnold’s
movies such as the “T2 Theme,” “Hell Bent
for Leather,” “Trapped Under Ice” and “Iron
Fist.” It’s here that the album begins to run
out of steam. For one, its tough to top the originals Lambesis
chooses to cover here. Plus, ADM works much better when it
isn’t trying too hard to be funny, as it does on some
of the Ahhnold bits on the second disc. The reason the first
disc and Total Brutal worked was because they played
on the ridiculousness that is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s
film oeuvre. Disc 2 of Double Brutal tries
too hard to be a comedy record instead of just letting the
comedy flow from our association with Ahhnold’s films.
So what next for ADM? Triple Brutal? I know of quite
a few one-liners Lambesis has yet to use, such as “Stick
around!” “You’re luggage!” “Have
a light” and “I hope you leave enough room for
my fist, because I’m going to ram it into your stomach
and rip out ya goddamn spine, NYAHHHH!!!” Ok, maybe
that last one is a little too long. Maybe after two discs
of inspired, heavy, funny and above all, bruuutal discs, Lambesis
should quit while he’s ahead before the project gets
stale. |
