Live-Metal.Net - Interviews: Brian "Head" Welch

Former Korn guitarist talks about his solo career and upcoming new music, his conversion to Christianity, his current relationship with members of Korn and more.

As a guitarist for one on the most successful metal bands, you would think you were living a dream only a few even could imagine. Everything you ever could want in life would be on your plate. But that was far from the truth for Korn’s Brian “Head” Welch. In 2005, he shocked the rock world by announcing his resignation from the band and devoting his life and his future music to Christianity. Since his departure, most would say Korn hasn’t been the same. But that’s another story. Head’s story is one of excess. Describing his last years in Korn as “torture,” touring and the lifestyle of the road led Head to endless partying, a crystal meth addiction, missing his daughter and internal struggles in the band. You can read his story for yourself in his best-selling 2007 autobiography, Save Me from Myself (review).

Since going solo, although now a devout Christian and drug-free, Head’s life hasn't exactly been peachy. His debut album (review) was released to mixed reviews, and he admits that, looking back, he isn’t completely satisfied with the effort. A record label he founded, Driven Music Group, shut down after bankruptcy, and Head just now is beginning to fight and claw his way back. With a driving new single, “Paralyzed” recently released, an announcement of an upcoming Head EP and constant rumors of if and when he will rejoin Korn, Live-Metal.net’s Jeff Maki had an extensive and honest talk with Head to get some of those answers.

Live-Metal.net: What’s up, Brian? What are you up to today, talking to a lot of guys like me?

Brian “Head” Welch: I am driving to Atlanta from Norfolk in a van, so that’s what we’re up to. We’ve got one more show to go on the tour right now.

I just wanted to say first that this is so cool that I’m getting to do this with you. I’m sure you hear it a lot, but I was a huge, huge Korn fan coming up. It wasn’t only the music; it was like a lifestyle for us. We had the Adidas tracksuits, every time we had a party we would have your music playing. I was at Woodstock ‘99.

That’s awesome, dude. That show was like one of the craziest experiences of my life—yeah, that was amazing.

I was at a few of the shows on the first Family Values tour, the Halloween date in Virginia (Patriot Center: Oct. 31, 1998) when Rammstein got pulled off the stage.

Oh, when we dressed up? Man, you’ve been to a lot of stuff.

[Editor’s note: Playing on Halloween night, Korn wore ‘80s metal costumes during their performance and opened with Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It,” the Scorpions’ “Rock You Like a Hurricane” and Poison’s “Talk Dirty to Me.” Prior, only two songs into their set, German metal band Rammstein’s show was cut off due to the band being dressed in only adult diapers, with exposed backsides.]

Yeah, like I said, it was like a lifestyle for my friends and me. So anyway, that was my little suck-up for you there.

I appreciate it, dude. That was a crazy ride that we had, and it’s cool to connect with the Korn fans, past or present.

OK, so the last fans heard from you was when you had that “open letter” on your website, when the single “Paralyzed” was coming out and you announced the upcoming EP. You also briefly mentioned the problems with your record label. So even though you’ve been out of the public eye for the last few years, there’s been a whole lot going on, I guess. Could you just describe what the last few years of your life has been like for you?

One word would be … disastrous. (laughs)

No, but a lot of problems happened, you know? But a lot of good came out of it, too, because I was just finding my way to where I want to be in life. I think struggles are really good because it sharpens your character and it gives you endurance to keep going on. In the Korn days, I had everything on a platter, you know what I mean? Fat checks just kept rollin’ in all the time, my bank account grew and everything, and it was so easy that way. The lifestyle, with the family and the drugs and the partying and everything, wasn’t all that good. But as far as money and success, it was all given to us.

So going through these problems since I left Korn has really taught me a lot, and I needed it. So I’m thankful for it, actually. But yeah, it’s been a lot (of struggles). I started a label (Driven Music Group), but the music industry is in such a freakin’ disaster right now that I lost the label a couple of years after, and there were problems with partners and money issues. But I’m comin’ out of it, man, and it’s a new season now, and I’m looking forward to the future.

Did you have a lot of stuff recorded that you’re not able to release because of the whole label situation and everything? Is that kind of what is going on?

No, I didn’t have material—I have songs and everything, but I don’t think they were that good. Like my first album, a lot of the songs are just OK. I think it was good for the time for what I was going through, but I’ve stepped into a different writing season now. It’s just like better quality songs and they’re heavier. So I think it was good that all that happened, like I said. But I did have songs but I don’t think they should have been released anyway. I think I would’ve had something out sooner if all that mess would have been behind me. So yes, I have been waiting for that stuff to get behind me so I could actually release something.

So were you completely satisfied with your debut, Save Me from Myself? What do you think are its strengths and weaknesses?

I think its weakness is that I was trying to be different too much and I wanted to create my own sound, but at the same time, I was just learning to sing. So after three years of touring, I know my voice better now. So I know it’s going to be better on the new one. And I think sometimes the spiritual messages were too strong, and now that I’ve grown spiritually, it’s good to lay back on that because people will freak out on that a lot.

But the strengths—I like the melody in it. I like the melodies and the music and trying different things with keyboards and synths and stuff like that. That was cool and fun for me.

I like the album, but I think one thing I found surprising about it were your vocals, actually. I found them really similar to (Korn vocalist) Jonathan (Davis’). Was he a big influence in your singing style, or maybe it was originally the other way around, and you influenced him?

I think we all influenced each other, but I’ve been around him that whole time, and even when I was in Korn the last couple of years, we were talking about changing the sound. I didn’t leave Korn and then they changed their sound because I left. They were talking about changing the sound when I was in the band. And I didn’t want to go that route, so I was like, “I like the heavy Korn stuff, and I want to do stuff like that.” And if Korn doesn’t really want to do it, then I’ll do it. (laughs)

But he is a big influence on me, and he’s one of my favorite singers ever, especially in the early days. And I think a lot of people would day that, too, about the early albums when he was hittin’. He’s hittin’ now and he’s a great singer, but just my favorite stuff was like “Twist” and “Freak on a Leash,” when he was just a nut—he was a spaz. So yeah, props to him.

Yeah, I always got that feeling about you, and I think fans did, too. Not that you were stuck, but that you were just “back” in the early days of Korn. With that said, is that what the new EP is going to sound like? Is it more in the vein of that earlier Korn stuff?

I think it will be a mix. I think the riffs in “Paralyzed” kind of sound similar to something we would do earlier. And you know, it’s hard, because I want to do something that’s my own. But also, I come from Korn, so everything I do is gonna sound—no pun intended—but “Korny.” You know what I mean? It’s gonna have that Korn sound because I am a part of Korn, and that’s just gonna have to be how it is. It could hurt me or it could help, it just depends on the person. So I just gotta be who I am regardless of the crowd size that I will draw the rest of my life. Now I just gotta do what I love and whatever happens happens.

It’s got to be really hard for you to write music because on one hand it’s going to naturally sound like Korn, but then again, if you go off and do something entirely different and experiment, the fans might not be there for it.

Yeah, it’s a fine line, bro. I’m trying to figure it out. But the biggest thing is that I can’t be a people pleaser. I can’t just go and say, “I gotta make sure everybody likes this.” I gotta do what I love. Like “Paralyzed,” I love that song, and I think it’s just got so much balls and drive and it just kicks and I love it. And it does sound like some of the old Korn, but I don’t care—I love it. I feel like it’s the next step.

You also mentioned in that “open letter” how you were embracing your past more now. I also read your first book, Save Me from Myself, and one of the things that I remember reading is that you rid yourself of everything you had that had to do with Korn. But now you say that you’re embracing your past and you’re even playing Korn songs live, so why the sudden change of heart in this?

Well, I never got rid of my gold plaques—I got them at my house right now. I just kind of put them in the garage and was just like, OK, this Korn ride was cool and we had fun in the beginning, but towards the last five years of it, they were like torture for me. It was just like fighting in the band and the drug use and all that, so when I quit I didn’t even want to look at a Korn logo for awhile. I just wanted to look and listen to things that were positive, and so I did that. And now, after years of just chillin’and being with my daughter and writing my book, I’m a different person now. I saw Jonathan a month ago and (Korn bassist) Fieldy a month ago, and it’s all good. They got love for me, and I got love for them. It’s just that we had to go through that because they’re doing good now, too. Everyone is happy, and the drama is gone and everything. It’s just that it needed to happen there for me. I was just fed up—I didn’t even want to think about Korn or look at Korn.

When you first announced that you had quit Korn and were converting to Christianity, it was widely considered a joke or a publicity stunt. There was a tremendous amount of backlash on the Internet, in particular. Were you at all prepared for that backlash and did this hurt you more emotionally more than you had expected?

What happened was that I was just so stoked to have hope again in my life. I was on that (crystal) meth for two years, and I would like try to get off it—you read it—doctors couldn’t help me. Nothing. I thought I was like gonna even die off that stuff or be hooked for life. And when I finally got off, I felt divine existence and I felt love coming to me. I was so stoked that I started acting like an idiot, and I didn’t even care. And I knew I was acting like an idiot. And I knew when I said Jesus that everyone was gonna freak out. But I didn’t know it was going to be that big of a deal as far as MTV coming out to Bakersfield, our hometown. And CNN came and started wanting to do interviews, and I was like, “Why do they care what’s going on?” I thought maybe some radio stations would (take interest), but what was going on here? It got too big for me to comprehend, and yeah, people were laughing (about it). It was weird because some people were rooting for me, but a lot of the Korn fans thought I was crazy and it was a stunt. It would have been a better stunt if Jonathan had said he got saved. But yeah, it was sure such a trip, man.

[Editor’s note: In July 2005, Welch appeared on CNN's feature-format program People in the News and admitted to having been addicted to alcohol, methamphetamine, Xanax and sleeping pills before being introduced to the Christian faith.]

I wasn’t even sure what was going on, so that’s why I had to go and read the book and find out for myself.

Well, one minute you got Head, with my “Head hair-do” and everything, and then the next minute you see me in a white gown looking like Jesus. I mean, come on—that’s asking for ridicule. But to tell you the truth, some of it hurt me. I was reading things like, “I’ve been a Korn fan my whole life, 'F-U Head'" and all this stuff. And I got one message that went, “I’m a Korn fan Head and I wish you would have died on drugs instead of becoming Christian." And I was just like, “Man. What? You guys are ruthless right now.” But there was other people who had my back, so it evened out. But there were a couple of them that kind of hurt.

I think it’s because metal has always been associated with evil and the devil and all these things. And the perception of Christian rock and metal has always been that it’s just not cool for some reason. Do you think that you or anyone else has the power through your music to change this perception?

I don’t know, man. I don’t see why it’s gotta be so different. I’m the same guy and I pray to Jesus and I believe in him and I know it—100 percent. I’m 100 percent that he’s real. But still, I struggle. I have depression. I have anger and I struggle with this life, just like someone who’s not a Christian, but an Atheist. But we’re the same—we’re humans on this earth and I don’t know why it’s gotta be (so different). The thing is that people look at Christians like when The Simpsons portray Ned Flanders. You know, he’s all goody two shoes and all this stupid stuff. That’s how people look at them, but the real Christian life is all about laying your life down. It’s all about putting your old self to death. It’s got a dark vibe to it, and that’s what my music is. It’s got a dark sound and everything, but I don’t know if it could change around. I think things are going to change spiritually for the nation because this is a Christian nation, but it got way off the track. As you can see, the world is in a crazy place. So I hope that we could make a change in the whole perception of it. I would like to change the whole face of Christianity because a bunch of freakin’ knuckleheads and politicians and stuff made it look like crap.

When I got married, we had to do the sessions with the minister prior to marriage and all that stuff. I’m not a very religious person or anything, so going in I was nervous. But I ended up being really surprised at how laid back and just a normal person he was.

Yeah, we have these perceptions. I was the same way. I went to the church when I was on the drugs, and I was like, “These holy people are trying to save the devil-worshipper Korn guy?” So one part of me was like “I want to get saved and I want to get saved from my drugs.” But the other part of me was like, “These stupid people are gonna think I’m the devil.” But I was wrong. I went in there and I met murderers that were in that church that were like, “Dude, I was totally changed by God and I used to be a gang member and killed people.” And I had thought that all these people were “Mr. Holy” and stuff like that, but there were people worse than me in there. It tripped me out.

We cover a wide range of bands here on the website and I sometimes do these interviews with Scandinavian black and death metal satanic bands. And I often ask them about their religious beliefs and they all seem to share a common answer, saying that Christianity has these rules and restrictions, and that it doesn’t have any freedom. Therefore, they are better served as being Satanists. What would you say to any of these bands if given the chance to speak to them?

I’d say, man, let’s hang out and go get a bite to eat. I don’t fault them for their beliefs or anything. I don’t get into debates or nothing like that. It’s like you do your thing and I’ll do mine, but let’s hang out. I don’t sit there and talk about God to every person. What about talking about a relationship or talking about music? But if someone asked me, I would say it’s not about rules, it’s about laying your life down, man. And it’s about sacrifice. It’s about sacrificing yourself and dying to your ways. To just give your body to God and say use my body and do what you want to do and take my life, my existence through my gift of music that I’m doing. And it’s not about rules.

What I totally agree with those bands and the people that say that is the religions and the people that strap rules on you like other Christian religions. I’ve had people even tell me that I can’t have tattoos and be a Christian. And that you can’t do this and that. And I’m like, “Screw you.” It’s about heart, it’s not about the outside, and it’s not about what you look like. So that’s where it gets real confusing. My song on my first record, “Die Religion Die,” was to all of those religious fools that talk and judge people like us. It’s so confusing because I’m on the side of the people that think—like you said—that the Christian rock and Christian music is not cool. I’m on the side of the metalheads because I’m just like them. And I don’t like those religious people, but my life is about spirituality. It’s just a relationship with God, not all that junk and the rules that people try to put on you.

I haven’t read Fieldy’s book (Got The Life: My Journey of Addiction, Faith, Recovery and Korn, 2010) or about his conversion, but were you at all an inspiration for his conversion and how did his differ from yours?

I wasn’t at all. What happened was that his dad passed away. And dude, he was partying so much that he was peeing on himself and stuff because he was just so high all the time. And his body was shutting down. So when his dad died, he was such a wreck. His dad was a Christian, so his dad had the main influence on him. His stepmom told him that the thing his dad wanted the most out of him was for him to become a Christian. So Fieldy prayed with his stepmom that night his dad died—he prayed with his whole family. He didn’t mean it, though, but he went home and started thinking about it, and he started thinking about life and then he started praying right then. He was like, “You know what? I want to do this for real. Jesus, if you’re real, come in and change me and help me be healthy again.” He felt the same thing that I did. He felt this presence come into his life, and it helped. He started to change and started to feel positive. And so that was the main thing with his dad dying. And if anything, I think I may have turned him off in the beginning from Christianity because I was acting kind of stupid.

Even though you’re obviously not in the band, do you feel closer to Fieldy now spiritually now that he’s converted and devoted his life as well?

Yeah, I do, but the majority of why I feel closer to him is because he’s a nice dude now. He was such an ass before, man I’m tellin’ ya. He put out that gangster rap album (Fieldy’s Dreams – Rock n’ Roll Gangster, 2002), and when he put that out, we were just like, “What are you doin!” And he was just mean, because he said all the gangster rappers were mean and he would treat people like that. He would just like control everybody, so we grew to just really hate him. And so I really like the dude now. When I was hanging out with him, for hours we just talked and laughed and stuff. So the biggest thing is just that he’s nice now. That’s how I feel connected with Fieldy.

Are there any other specific friends from the past or present that you’re really concerned for, or maybe pray day in or day out for because of their lifestyle and you see them doing the same kinds of things that you were doing back in the day?

Actually, I don’t want to sound insensitive or nothing, but no. I think a lot of my friends came out of it, and I can’t really think of any. But for the Korn guys I was really worried about (guitarist James) “Munky” (Shaffer) for awhile because dude, he turned into a Jekyll and Hyde, like an angry, angry drunk. He was two people, totally. He was getting in fights and stuff—he’d attack people. But he’s been sober for a year, I heard, so it’s all good. And one guy that I grew up with, he had a really bad drug problem, and I think he’s struggling with that, so I prayed for him throughout the years. But I don’t know how he’s doing—I haven’t seen him in a couple of years. Other than that, that’s about it.

For the most part, I think fans think that’s it’s a forgone conclusion that you’re one day going to rejoin Korn, and it’s going to be like it was. What would you tell fans that seem to have this mindset?

Last year, I wrote my new book Stronger: 40 Days of Metal and Spirituality. It’s a 40-day thing where I wrote 40 stories, and one of the stories in that book is about how I met up with Fieldy and I was having a hard time. And he suggested that we get together. He was telling me that I should come back because he was a Christian and we could hang out and we won’t be wasted. And that I should come back to the band. And I said that I didn’t know if it was my calling to do that. Then he said let’s meet up with Jon and Munky and just all sit down, and I said, "Cool." And then he called them and said, “Let’s meet up with Head,” and they called him back and said, “No, we don’t want to do that.” And then Munky went on the Internet saying that I was begging to come back. So I wrote in my book that I would never, ever, ever go back to Korn or do anything with them. Not in a mean way, I just think it was a temptation to go back to my old life, and I’m not going to fall for it again.

But now fast-forward to this year, and I met up with Jonathan and we’ve been hanging out and talking, and I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I’ve got no plans to do it anytime soon, but I just see some cool things happening friendship-wise. So we’ll see in the future what happens.

Well, it would certainly be a cool thing for fans if you were to ever go back. But even if you never did, what you did with Korn will always be there and I like what you’re doing now. Is there anything else you’d like to say for the fans or for the record, Head?

Just thank you, I appreciate the interview and you had some really good questions. Also, a big thank you to the fans, and to watch out for new music in the spring.